When It Counts
by Panthers Midnight Lair
Summary: Sequel to Rupture.  Time marches on and the boys are learning how to deal with living half a continent apart.


When It Counts

By Panther

Season: 9

Pairing: Jack/Daniel

Category: ship, H/C

Rating: NC-17

Spoilers: Rupture, New Order

Warnings: graphic slash, adult situations

_Disclaimer: The Stargate universe and its inhabitants are the sole property of MGM et al. I don't own them. I just like to play with them._

**Author's note:** This story is for Linka and Taj…neither of which were even remotely happy with the way _Rupture_ ended. There, there, girls. *pats, hugs* No more sniffling…Jack will make it all better. =)

Sequel to _Rupture_. Time marches on and the boys are learning how to deal with living half a continent apart.

It was barely morning, the sky dark and the room with it as Jack lay listening to the cacophony of insects and nocturnal critters chattering away outside. He should have been asleep. Heaven knew he was exhausted, but he couldn't get his brain to shut off long enough for that to happen so there he lay, listening to the night noises of the Minnesota outback.

It seemed Daniel wasn't having the same problem. Jack could feel him spooned up against him, the entire length of his body pressed into him and an arm holding him tightly even in his sleep. He hadn't so much as twitched in over an hour, which was just as well. Jack didn't really want to talk. Not about this. Daniel would just tell him he had no reason to feel guilty, which was a lovely sentiment, but hardly made him feel better.

It had been six months since he'd taken the job at Home World Security that had blown their nice, quiet love affair right out of the water. He still remembered the scene in Daniel's house the day he had left. He tried hard not to think about it, but it had been dancing around the edges of his mind since that day, eating away at him. Marching himself out to the car and letting the driver take him away had been one of the hardest things he'd ever had to do, and that was saying something. It had torn the heart right out of him. He'd been afraid he would spend half the flight struggling with tears; something totally unacceptable for a General. Fortunately, at least for the sake of his military bravado, the farewell had left him numb for days; too torn apart for tears.

The change of command had kept him busy during the days that followed, but not the nights. He had been quite unprepared for the smothering loneliness that went with coming home to an empty house. It hadn't just been that Daniel wasn't there to talk with, complain to, bicker with. His presence wasn't there at all; anywhere. His clothes weren't in the closet or the dresser. His toothbrush wasn't in the bathroom. His books weren't scattered around here and there. His jacket wasn't hanging on the back of one of the dining room chairs. He was nowhere. The dozens of things that had hinted at his existence and typically went completely ignored were missing and the stark reality of what Jack had done hit him like a physical slap over and over again. There had been days where he would settle in one room in one chair and refuse to move just to avoid the assault of a new room and the things that should have been there, but weren't.

True to his word, he had made it a habit to call Daniel every night. In fact, he'd had a handsfree system installed in the truck just to make sure driving in commuter traffic during his 90 minute trip to and from the office didn't prevent him from being able to do so. It was like having a warm blanket wrapped around him every time Daniel's voice came floating through the sound system. He only wished he could set up the same system in the house so he could wander from room to room and hear his voice pouring gently over him from every direction.

Of course, it had taken a while to get to that point. In the beginning the phone calls had been a lot less than therapeutic. They had been a life preserver, an absolute necessity in order to get through the day, but Daniel had still been heartbroken and Jack could hear it in his voice. He had tried to cover it; even managed a laugh now and then, but it was still there, flowing under the surface of the conversation, a pain he simply didn't have the ability to hide completely.

Over time it had gotten better as they got used to being apart. Though that had been just in time to broach the new problem of how to deal with having only two or three days together when they finally did get to see each other. It was tougher than he'd thought it would be. Jack assumed that over time they would get used to that, too, but so far it was too new for them to be settled into any type of routine.

This was their second rendezvous and snuggled together in bed it felt just like the old days. If he closed his eyes he could almost forget that it wasn't. Of course, they hadn't gotten to the "good-bye" yet, when it would be blatantly obvious. The first time it had been a whole lot like when he had left for D.C.; a knife to his heart, the whole thing coming pretty close to ripping Daniel wide open all over again. He had been afraid their first reunion would be the final straw that had Daniel walking away because Jack didn't know how many times the man could stand to go through that. He had been pushed to his limit; teetering right on the edge and it had been very obvious. By the time the cab had shown up to take him to the airport Daniel had been in his "checked out" state of mind, holed up inside as far as he could get and still function. Jack had spent most of the flight back to D.C. contemplating the idea that maybe the most humane thing he could do was cut Daniel loose and insist he move on with his life; one final wound before he was allowed to start healing.

In the end he had decided to leave the decision to Daniel. Not because he really thought it was better that he reach that conclusion on his own, but simply because he didn't have the heart. And he didn't really want to lose him. It was purely selfish on his part and that wasn't doing anything to help where his guilt was concerned.

Jack had been mulling that concept over yet again while puttering around the cabin waiting for Daniel to show up the previous afternoon. He could have gone to the airport to pick him up, but realized it would be especially cruel to make Daniel keep his hands to himself just because they were in public. He knew he'd made the right decision when Daniel had come striding through the front door. They had locked eyes and Daniel had given him one of the most brilliant smiles he'd ever seen, a contradiction to the tears shinning in his eyes. He'd crossed the floor in three strides of those long legs and wrapped his arms around Jack, burying his face in Jack's neck. The idea that he could hold in a greeting like that simply because there were witnesses around was laughable. The idea that he would have to apologize for his lack of restraint was ludicrous.

Jack had stood there holding him for what seemed like forever, rocking him where they stood, a hand on the back of his head reveling in the feeling of having him in his arms. He didn't give a damn that it was only for four days. He would gladly take what he could get. Neither one of them had wanted to let go so they hadn't. The rest of the afternoon and into the evening had been all about sensation: touch…taste…smell…and only the few words necessary to point each other in the right direction. Everything else they had to say to each other hadn't required vocabulary. They spoke on the phone all the time. This had been about things speech simply couldn't express.

His energy spent from the workout Jack hadn't expected a night of contemplation. He'd expected to collapse and sleep like the dead until long after sun up. Apparently that wasn't going to happen. His second choice would have been to bury his face in Daniel's hair and pass the time simply breathing him in, but that apparently wasn't going to happen either. At least not without waking him up and that would risk a quiet, middle of the night conversation about things he really didn't want to discuss.

It was just as well their first few hours had been almost completely void of words because the only things that had been on Jack's mind were apologies and overwhelming regret over what he'd done. Daniel would tell him the same thing he always told him when they dared broach the subject. He'd had no choice. It was for the good of the Program. It was for the good of the planet. It wasn't his fault.

In all honesty, he was sick to death of what was "for the good of the Program" and was coming damn close to the same opinion about what was "for the good of the planet". One more hefty dose of guilt over what he was doing to them…what he was doing to Daniel…and he'd be ready to chuck the whole thing. Daniel would argue strenuously for something he didn't really want…because that was Daniel. It was more important than he was. He'd find a way to adjust. Then Jack would tell him there was nothing more important than he was…because there simply wasn't. Then Daniel would give him that look. The one that loosely translated into "Jack, you're being a stubborn son of a bitch and you know it."

What it all boiled down to was an argument and Jack didn't want to waste their time together arguing…not even just for old times' sake. They could argue over the phone. Not here. Not now. Not when it would be a waste of what little face to face contact they were allowed to have any more.

And he was most definitely not going to make Daniel beg for something he didn't want; a pain he didn't even remotely deserve to endure. Not happening. End of discussion.

With that settled, at least in his own mind, Jack gingerly pried Daniel's arm from around his chest and carefully rolled onto his back. He was hoping Daniel would allow himself to be maneuvered into a new position without waking, but wasn't entirely surprised when that didn't happen.

"Jack?" He mumbled.

"Sorry, Danny, was trying not to wake you."

"Where're you going?

"Nowhere."

Daniel mumbled something he wasn't sure was even a real word and allowed himself to be pulled toward Jack's chest. Half asleep he apparently got the point and wiggled himself into a comfortable position, legs tangled with Jack's and his head on his chest. Daniel's breathing evened out again almost instantly and Jack thought he had simply gone back to sleep.

"You ok?" He mumbled quietly.

"Yeah." Jack whispered.

"You sure?" Daniel asked a moment later, his head coming up.

"Go back to sleep." Jack kissed him on the forehead.

Daniel stared at him in the darkness for another moment before resting his head back where it had been. The incredibly familiar weight of Daniel on his chest was enough to finally still the thoughts in his head and Jack drifted to sleep.

XxXxXxXxX

After more than six incredibly long months of their newly invented long distance catastrophe they had yet to get into any type of real routine where the reunions were concerned. Oh sure, they had a tentative plan that seemed to repeat itself: they would pick a place to meet, schedule a time, Jack would check in, Daniel would show up sometime later, his name never appearing anywhere on the hotel registry, and they would spend whatever time they had rediscovering each other. However, the mood from one encounter to the next fluctuated wildly. Jack was never sure exactly what was going to greet him when he opened the door. Their current reunion was a perfect example.

Jack opened the door to their hotel room in Maine, a place not even remotely close to anything either of them was connected to, to be greeted with something less than a beaming smile. It was a complicated mixture of happiness and frustration, as if not all of Daniel was certain he really wanted to be there. He gave Jack a hug and then headed to the bathroom. Emerging several minutes later he willingly walked back into Jack's arms, but if Jack hadn't already suspected there was something bubbling just under the surface the remainder of their evening would have been a dead giveaway.

Daniel would never in his life do anything to purposely hurt Jack. Still he wasn't a stranger to playing rough, either. When he was frustrated with Jack over something he could be incredibly aggressive and it had been obvious before they had even hit the bed that he was frustrated. The kisses Daniel trailed down his neck turned to nipping at his shoulder. Not enough to actually break the skin, but enough to leave a mark…and make his point. Clothes that were half the time stripped off in a hurry anyway were yanked off; Daniel undoing the zipper on Jack's pants before roughly shoving them down his body, buttons nearly torn off as he impatiently removed his shirt in order to nip at other places on Jack's skin.

Caressing with gentle strokes became grabbing to hold him still or shoving to move him in a new direction. Standing there in the middle of the room attempting to keep up, Jack grew annoyed with the harassment and started doing his own grabbing, shoving, and nipping in retaliation. It only served to make Daniel angrier. Jack tried to get his attention and redirect Daniel's mouth back to his own, risking a bite on the lip, but he was having none of it. Grabbing him by the shoulders Daniel pushed Jack several steps back and pinned him to a wall, holding him in place as he continued exploring the skin at his chest. Not even remotely in the mood to be submissive, Jack eventually got a firm grip of his own and spun them further down the wall, crashing them into a table and nearly knocking a lamp to the floor.

Around and around they went jockeying for control, pinning each other against walls and furniture as they spun around the room. Jack finally managed to get Daniel facing the wall and began eagerly sucking and licking at the back of his neck in the hopes of getting him turned on enough to eclipse some of his aggression. Wrapping arms around his shoulders to hold him in place Jack began slowly thrusting against his ass despite the fact that Daniel still had his jeans on. It worked, but not quite the way Jack had planned. Daniel unzipped his jeans and quickly stripped them off before grabbing one of Jack's hands and yanking it down to cover his fully engorged erection.

"Come on, Jack." He'd growled quietly. "You want it? Take it."

It was getting incredibly hard to think, which was making the game that much more dangerous. No holds barred Daniel was an amazingly erotic thing and the list of things Jack wanted to do to him was growing exponentially. However, not being able to hold a thought in his head lead to gut reactions and he had no idea how far Daniel intended to take his current mood. He hadn't seen him that worked up in a very long time. The only way to exercise any control at all was to get him into a submissive position and hold him there. Then he could make all the demands he wanted, but Jack would still be able to control how far things went.

"Fine." Jack growled right back, his Alpha Male attitude in high gear. "Bed. Now." He commanded in a tone that left no room for discussion, his hand still firmly gripping Daniel.

"Right here." Daniel demanded, arms braced against the wall. "We don't need a bed. Just do it here."

"And if that's not what I want?" he asked, squeezing hard enough to make Daniel grunt in response.

"I don't give a damn what you want, Jack." He spat back.

"Fine. Have it your way."

Reaching into the opening in his boxer briefs Jack freed him and set up a rhythm of fast, short strokes designed to get Daniel off as quickly as possible. He didn't want him to enjoy it he just wanted to get it over with. Fisting the head of his cock and rubbing the tip firmly with his thumb he had Daniel shooting into his hand a few short moments later, growling to the ceiling, refusing to let Jack's name escape his lips. Collecting the fluid in his fist, Jack coated a finger with it, whipped the boxers off Daniel's hips and jabbed the finger inside his still spasming body. Daniel letting out a brief yelp of surprise as he panted for air, his jaw clenched.

Jack took the opportunity to spin him around and pin him back against the wall, slopping kisses across his mouth, pressing his hips into him, his rock hard erection in definite contrast to Daniel's recently deflated one. For a moment Daniel was complacent, willingly submitting to Jack's demanding tongue in his mouth, but eventually the fire reignited and he was wresting for control once again.

"Bed. Now." Jack repeated, glaring into eyes that were blazing right back at him.

Once again Daniel refused.

The best part about Daniel being 15 years younger than him was that he still had a quick recovery time and he could cum as many times as Jack was able to get him there. So in situations like this, if it took a few times to wear him down to a point of being a bit less stubborn that was perfectly fine. Jack, on the other hand, was pretty close to a once a night man. Of course, being this turned on it might have been possible for him to come up with a second, but he wasn't willing to bet on it.

After the second refusal they went right back to wrestling, shedding the last of their clothes in the process, and Daniel eventually reversed their positions, pinning Jack face first against the opposite wall. He reached around in an attempt to grab Jack's cock, now painfully hard, but Jack grabbed his wrist and held it tight.

"I don't think the wall is where you want to spend this one, Danny."

"What if I do?"

"Pretty sure you'll regret it later."

Jack took his moment of hesitation and twisted his arm, deftly switching their positions and pressing him into the wall.

"This one, on the other hand…" Jack commented releasing his arm at the same moment he grabbed his rapidly renewing erection and started pumping before Daniel could protest. "Come on, Daniel. Cum for me."

He could feel Daniel's body tense at the command, chin rising toward the ceiling as he fought it with everything he had.

"This is what you wanted, right? Hard and fast?" Jack breathed in his ear.

Daniel shook his head.

"You can't hold onto it forever." Jack taunted.

"Ah…Jack!" he ground out, gasping at the ceiling, arms starting to tremble.

"I can do this all night, as many times as you want it." Jack added, pressing his cock into the sweat accumulating at the crack of Daniel's ass, rubbing against him until half Daniel's body was trembling from the effort to hold back what he couldn't hope to prevent.

When he finally came it was an inarticulate howl to the ceiling with a stream that landed on the wall halfway up his chest, his body pulsing several more times as he drained himself onto the floor and Jack's hand.

With Daniel's energy temporarily spent, his head rested on one arm that was braced against the wall, Jack took the opportunity to change the venue. Spinning him around Jack firmly gripped his head and kissed him hungrily, walking him slowly back toward the bed. It wasn't that he had a thing about having sex on random furniture or even the floor. He was all for exploring, but the lube was by the bed and he wasn't about to bury himself in Daniel without it. At the moment Daniel deciding that he could live without lube was Jack's main concern. They were heading to a place where he seemed to want it rougher each time, fighting the contact they both knew he was craving. He had no idea what dark and masochistic thoughts were rolling around in his head, but Jack didn't care how keyed up he was. Entering him dry was not going to happen. That would take things to a place he definitely did not want to go because that was not the sort of screaming he wanted Daniel to be doing.

Jack walked him right into the bed, letting him fall onto his back on the mattress. Daniel immediately began trying to scuttle off the opposite side of the bed, but Jack snagged his ankle and held on, earning a hardened glare. Both hands on his leg Jack attempted to drag him back across the bed, but Daniel gripped the edge of the mattress and held on. Jack didn't care. He knew how to put an end to this, and whether Daniel knew it or not, Jack had him right where he wanted him. Twisting his leg Jack forced him to roll onto his stomach, Daniel stubbornly adjusting his grip on the bed. Hand over hand Jack worked his way up the leg he held captive until he had a firm grip in Daniel's upper thigh. One leg was still free, but that didn't matter. He had a feeling Daniel wasn't going to fight him very hard on this.

Finally releasing him Jack spread his cheeks wide and painted a strip up the length of the crease with his tongue. To his surprise Daniel made another attempt to squirm off the other end of the bed and Jack clamped onto his hips. If he wanted to be difficult, Jack could handle difficult. Crawling onto the bed he plopped himself non too gently across Daniel's back, temporarily forcing the air out of his lungs, and buried himself right back where he had been, the weight of his body keeping Daniel in place. The angle wasn't optimal, but it was good enough. Lapping at his hole, Jack spread him wider and forced his tongue inside rimming him with wet, sloppy strokes until Daniel was moaning under him. As long as he kept up the ministrations Daniel was putty in his hands and they both knew it. Spreading his legs wider, Jack almost standing on his head, he shifted his attention down to Daniel's balls, suckling them one a time, rolling them alternately around on his tongue. Two fingers in his ass and Jack sucking his balls and he came a third time despite his cock being trapped against his body, pressed into the mattress.

Jack felt the shudders as Daniel's muscles clamped down on his fingers and pumped them faster, sawing them in and out of his body until he was writhing under him, desperate panted mewls escaping him. Finally relenting Jack climbed off and reached for the lube, giving him a few brief moments to recover. If they were going to be off on another wrestling match across the hotel room he wanted to be prepared to nail Daniel on whatever wall he happened to pin him. He was way past turned on, his own cock aching for release; a fact Daniel seemed determined to ignore.

Daniel lay face down on the sheets, apparently no longer determined to run. Jack took that as a sign that maybe he'd burned out his aggression and was ready to settle down a little. Testing the waters he kissed his shoulder blade. When he didn't get a negative response…actually he didn't get any response at all…he began exploring his skin, roaming back and forth across his body. Daniel eventually replied by rolling over onto his back. The scowl on his face told Jack this wasn't quite over. Not yet. Jack attempted to stroke his face, but Daniel jerked away from him. Nor was he ready to play nice.

"Grab the headboard." Jack ordered.

Daniel rolled onto one hip and tried to crawl off the end of the bed.

"Oh no you don't, Jackson. I'm not through with you yet."

"Table." Daniel replied in the same tone.

"Fine."

Daniel stalked over to the small round table in one corner and stood, arms folded across his chest glaring back at Jack. Lube in hand Jack strode over to him with the idea in mind that he would at least attempt to kiss him into a better mood before the next round, but Daniel turned his back to him, arms still folded across his chest, the moment he got within reach. Jack grabbed him around the waist and nipped at his shoulder, folding him forward over the table until he had no choice, but to either struggle out of his grasp or unfold his arms so he could support himself. Not even remotely sure which one he was going to try Jack kept one arm securely fastened around him, holding him tightly as he flipped open the lube, tucked the small bottle between his teeth and filled his palm. Snapping the top shut with one knuckle, he spit it out on the floor.

Jack coated himself with the gel and reached between their bodies to slide a finger into Daniel, who immediately began wiggling and squirming in his grip.

"If you don't want this just say so." Jack groused.

"I don't need your finger."

"Ok, have it your way." Jack sighed heavily.

From what he could feel the tension was making Daniel a little tight, but he wasn't going to force him to be reasonable. At least not yet. Positioning himself Jack slid slowly into him, waiting until his head had breached the opening and stopping, barely seated. Once again Daniel was squirming and wiggling, attempting to push back against him, but every time Daniel moved he moved so the attempt was getting him nowhere.

"Damn it, Jack." He growled.

"Just hold on, Daniel. Give it a second."

"I don't want to 'give it a second'. Just get on with it!"

"Daniel…"

"Now!"

Tightening his grip around Daniel's middle he thrust into him again, this time burying himself half way inside in one motion. He heard Daniel suck in air, his head coming up, shoulders tense.

"You ok?" He got no response other than the sound of Daniel's heavy breathing. "Daniel?"

"I said 'now'!" came the terse response through clenched teeth.

Jack had been holding back partly because he didn't want to hurt Daniel and partly because he was so damn hard that going too fast was going to have him shooting like a rocket before Daniel had gotten anywhere near another climax. However, the anger coming off Daniel in waves was starting to get on his nerves. Without warning Jack slammed into him, driving himself home, balls patting against Daniel's body. The action earned him another small gasp, Daniel's breathing harsh, and suddenly he was hovering between wanting to continue this fantasy and concern over what he was doing to Daniel's ass.

He slowly pulled out again checking for any sign that Daniel was bleeding. Seeing none he pushed right back in up to his balls. He repeated the action one more time until he finally felt Daniel's body begin to relax around him, accommodating the girth. Apparently Daniel had felt the change, too, because he was back to wiggling and squirming.

"Jack." He warned.

Both hands gripping his hips firmly Jack set a vigorous pace, but obviously plain old copulation wasn't enough for Daniel. Not in this mood. He continued to growl and complain, so Jack picked up the pace and changed his grip. One hand on Daniel's hip, one hand in his hair, gripping the longer strands on top of his head, Jack pulled it back forcing him to arch his back and pounded into him as hard as he could. Apparently that was exactly what Daniel had wanted because he heard no further complaints, just panting as Jack drove into him.

Typically they were really good together. Jack could send Daniel spiraling off into oblivion when he put his mind to it, but apparently Daniel didn't want mind blowing sex. He wanted harsh, punishing sex. Jack couldn't help, but wonder what was going on in his head. However, when Daniel began purposely tightening his muscles around Jack, squeezing him relentlessly Jack stopped thinking. Letting go of Daniel's hip, a hand still tangled in his hair, he anchored himself to his body by wrapped his hand around Daniel's cock and pumping him mercilessly. Two could play that game.

Jack growled Daniel's name as he finally reached his hard earned orgasm and filled him, Daniel groaning loudly an instant later as he spilled himself onto the table. Finally spent Jack slowly pulled out of him earning one last, quiet gasp. As careful as he'd tried to be he had apparently hurt him at least a little, the tight rings of muscle obviously offering up some kind of complaint. What Jack wanted to do was hold him for a while and attempt to lull him down from his mood, but he settled for merely resting a hand on his bare, sweat covered back, stroking the warm skin briefly before wandering to the bathroom for a towel.

Exhausted and more than willing to leave the discussion of whatever this was until morning, Jack crawled into bed and collapsed on his stomach. It barely registered when Daniel crawled onto the bed with him. In complete contradiction to the hostile and mildly abusive scene they'd just played out Daniel tugged him onto his side and settled in behind him, spooned up against him with an arm wrapped around his chest.

"You ok?" Jack asked quietly

There was no answer. Jack tried to take Daniel's hand and hold it to his chest, but Daniel clenched his hand into a fist and refused to be moved. Jack had a hard time imagining the tangle of thoughts that would have Daniel so absolutely livid, but at the same time craving a less abusive form of physical contact than the scene they'd just played out. He didn't want to be held and cuddled, but at the same time he didn't want to be alone on his side of the bed. He needed a life-sized teddy bear. One that didn't attempt conversation and was content to be held whatever way Daniel wanted to hold him. Fair enough. Jack was too tired to carry the thoughts any further.

XxXxXxXxX

Jack snuck out of bed the following morning and slipped out to the living room of their one bedroom suite. It was going to be a short visit, only two days, but Jack had wanted to see with his own eyes that Daniel was alright. He'd called the infirmary a week ago, after word had reached him that Daniel had collapsed in a heap on the Daedalus. They had said he was fine. Daniel had said he was fine. Jack had wanted visual proof. Actually, that was only half true. Jack had just wanted to see him.

Things between them had been turbulent lately and he felt like he was dancing through a minefield, narrowly missing getting himself blow to pieces. Eventually something was going to actually hit him and the suspense was grating on his nerves. It was starting to feel a whole lot like the relationship they'd had in the beginning where it was rocky and complicated and they had been forced to step back from it more than once in an effort to keep it from bursting into flame.

It had been several months since Daniel had called to tell him he was putting in for a transfer. Jack's stomach had folded itself into a nice, tight, little knot even before Daniel had told him where he was going. He had known the breakup was coming; he'd felt it in his bones all along, and while the news that Daniel had reached the end of his rope hadn't been a complete surprise it had still stung.

It seemed Daniel had been looking for a way to make their separation livable and had come to the conclusion that the best way to do that was submerge himself in something he would find distracting enough to keep him from thinking about it. Since Jack was no longer in a position to turn down the request he was asking to be shipped off to Atlantis. They both knew Landry would have no problem with it. Carter had taken a job at Area 51 to be near Cassie. Teal'c was off dealing with the issues of the new Jaffa nation. SG-1 was a thing of the past. Since the rest of the team had moved on Daniel suddenly found he had no real reason to stay. It wasn't really good-bye, he'd told him. Once Jack retired and they could finally live in the same house…city…state…he would request to come back.

The reunions every few months, when they could manage it, had been hard on Daniel and Jack hadn't blamed him for seeking an alternate solution; one that had a lot fewer heart wrenching farewells. Still, he had been all but dancing around his desk when word had come to him that Daniel's transfer had been scrubbed thanks to a run in with some alien technology, the effects of which they didn't know how to reverse. The downside was they also couldn't see each other until then either. Jack could hear in his tone that he was frustrated with the new turn of events and had made every attempt to sound annoyed with them, too. However, in reality he'd been incredibly relieved. He'd known that wasn't the end of it, that Daniel would look for another solution to the problem, he just hoped that the new solution would at least keep him on the same planet.

Now here Daniel was, Atlantis a thing of the past, the alien side effects resolved, but everything else between them a mess.

Picking up the phone Jack ordered room service before wandering to the bathroom for a quick shower. He certainly hoped last night's festivities had been enough to burn some of the aggravation out of Daniel. Otherwise they were going to be in for a very loud morning. There was an argument brewing. He didn't know the topic, but he had more than noticed the signs.

By the time he climbed back out of the shower Daniel was out of bed. Judging by his body language it seemed he had gone from pissed to pensive. Sitting bare-chested in a chair he was staring out the window at the water. Their wrestling match the night before had apparently burned off some of his frustration so maybe they could have a quiet conversation rather than an all out argument. Maybe.

Jack wandered by and paused long enough to press a kiss to the top of his head and briefly grip his shoulder. Normally he would have taken the opportunity to playfully ruffle his hair, but he was obviously not in the mood to be playful. Daniel turned his head in Jack's direction, but didn't say anything. There might have been a ghost of a smile there, but he wasn't in a position to see it.

Ruffling his own hair dry with a towel and pulling on a robe Jack settled in a nearby chair.

"You ok?" He asked quietly, studying Daniel's face for an answer he wasn't sure he was going to get from his mouth.

"Not really." Daniel replied, eyes still on the water.

"Want to talk about it?"

"Not sure I know where to start." He admitted with a twitch of a smile, casting a glance in Jack's direction.

Jack started tallying cues. Pensive. Not making eye contact. Disturbed smile when he smiled at all. If he hadn't known better he would have sworn he was looking at Hurting Daniel, despite the tornado that had come blowing into their hotel room the night before. The problem was he didn't know better. That particular version of Daniel had made a lot of appearances over the past several months.

"Start anywhere you want." Jack replied.

"I'm sorry about Atlantis." Daniel began, making another failed attempt at eye contact. "I don't think I really wanted to go. I just…"

"I know." Jack nodded. "I'm sorry it didn't work out."

"No you're not." Daniel twitched another smirk.

"You're right. I'm not." Jack shrugged.

There was a long pause and before Daniel spoke again a knock at the door interrupted the tentative start to the conversation. Cursing the timing of the Room Service delivery Jack got up from his chair and ushered the kid in and out as quickly as he could. Since Daniel seemed content to sit, as opposed to slinking to another part of the suite to change locations and change the topic, Jack poured a cup of coffee and doctored it up just the way he liked it.

"You're sorry about Atlantis…which I never blamed you for in the first place, by the way…and?" Jack coaxed, handing him the mug.

Daniel nodded at him and shifted his attention from the water to the light brown liquid in his cup.

"I don't know how to do this, Jack."

Jack knew that phrase. It always came out when Daniel felt backed into a corner. When he'd tried every alternative he could think of and everything had failed, but he still couldn't live with whatever he was facing. He'd heard it from time to time over the years, usually when Daniel was swimming in desperation and didn't have the strength to keep treading water.

"This what?" he coaxed gently.

"This…us. Whatever this is we're doing."

Jack waited knowing silence would bring the rest of it out.

"I think I hate this." Daniel finally offered. "I have to lie to the team about where I'm going so Landry doesn't accidentally figure out that you and I are on vacation at the same time, in the same place. I'm supposed to be in New Mexico right now looking over a dig for the weekend, by the way." He admitted. "Not only can I not say what you mean to me I can't even say we're in the same place. I feel like…"

Daniel clamped down on whatever he was about to say, Jack able to see the muscles bunching in his jaw as he ground his teeth.

"Like what?"

"Never mind." He mumbled, finally taking a sip of his coffee.

"Just say it, Daniel."

His chin came up and his gaze landed in the center of Jack's chest. "Like you should be paying me a thousand bucks at the end of the weekend and sending me home." He said, flicking a glance up that, for a split second, made contact.

In that split second Jack could see a storm brewing, the aggravation from the night before regrouping around a pain he had been seeing for far too long. Grinding his own teeth at the realization of exactly how far things had sunk Jack sat back in his chair when what he wanted to do was get up, march over to the phone and put an end to the whole damned thing. It wasn't worth this! Not the job. Not the planet. Not the battle with the damned Ori or whoever the hell else was bound to show up. It wasn't worth this!

"You want to know something?" he said, sounding a lot calmer than he felt. "I'm absolutely positive I hate this, Daniel. No 'thinking' about it. I know I hate it."

The scowl on Daniel's face grew a little deeper.

"I want you to listen to me very carefully, Danny because I need to make sure you really hear this. You are not now, nor will you ever be my whore. You mean a hell of a lot more to me than that and I think you know that."

Daniel nodded, eyes back in his coffee.

"I'll tell you something else. When you called to tell me you were transferring to Atlantis the only thing I could think was that you'd beat me to the punch. I'm tired of this, Daniel. I'm tired of missing you every goddamn minute of every goddamn day. I was ready to resign my post and call it done, fate of the planet be damned. They can save their own ass for a change."

Daniel's head came up, his gaze rested on Jack's chest and a look on his face that said he was hearing and processing every word.

"Then you said you were leaving and I realized I was too late." He shrugged. "I know we said this was too important for us to be selfish, but I think we were wrong. We're too important not to be selfish…at least from where I'm sitting. You can't stand this any more. I can't stand this any more. So why don't we just admit we're not nearly as altruistic as we like to think we are and call it over?" Jack proposed, tears gathering in his eyes.

Once again the muscles in Daniel's jaw were twitching and he reached up to cover his eyes with his free hand. Jack prized the coffee mug from his hand when he heard the first sniffle.

"Come here." He said coaxing him up out of his chair and wrapping him in a hug.

"I'm sorry, Jack." He sniffled. "I just…"

"It's ok, Danny. There's nothing to be sorry for."

If it had been just the turmoil of their relationship mutating into he had no idea what, Jack knew Daniel could have stuck it out, but everything had come apart for him at once and neither of them had seen that coming. Jack had left him. Teal'c had left him. Sam had left him. His whole circle of friends, his entire support system had packed up within weeks of each other and scattered to the wind. Daniel had kept saying he was ok. He could adjust. It would just take time, but that wasn't the truth. He'd been holding on for dear life, but his arms were getting tired and he was facing the cold reality of tumbling headlong into the abyss while everyone else was out getting on with their lives.

He'd been surly and easily annoyed for months and Jack knew, despite the convenient excuse, that it really had very little to do with that Vala woman the others were blaming it on. He'd never met her, but had to admit she sounded like a royal pain in the ass. Still, Daniel had put up with him for seven long years. He knew how to deal with annoying people without letting them get that far under his skin. It wasn't her. It was them.

"I think we've taken this about as far as either of us can go." Jack offered, rocking him gently where they stood the way he always did. "Let's just admit defeat and call it over."

"I don't want you to quit, Jack." Daniel replied, pulling away from him far enough to see his face. "What about HWS? All the reasons we did this in the first place still exist."

"Then what?" Jack asked, thoroughly confused. "What do you want to do?"

"I don't know."

"Well I do." Jack stated, thumbing tears from his cheek.

A decidedly troubled expression settled over Daniel's face and suddenly Jack understood where the problem was. He was asking Daniel to put himself ahead of the fate of the Stargate Program, which had a direct impact on the fate of the planet. Daniel quite simply didn't have it in him to be that self-centered. He could make the decision on the spur of the moment if Jack pushed him, but five minutes later he'd be changing his mind. This was too big. There were too many people involved. It was the whole "don't go out of your way to save me because I'm no more valuable than anybody else" speech Daniel had given him after Kelowna, all over again.

Standing there completely miserable he still wasn't willing to put himself ahead of the faceless, nameless public which had no clue how many times the two of them had risked their lives in the name of global security. How much they'd already sacrificed on their behalf. In short, if there was a fix to this particular situation Jack was going to have to come up with a plan B. Plan A wasn't going to work. Daniel would chuck the relationship before he'd let Jack quit HWS, neither of which would happen before Daniel was laid out flat on the floor in an emotionally devastated heap.

"Let's just let it sit for the time being, ok?" Jack offered. "We've got two days. We can talk about it later."

Daniel nodded at him and settled his chin in Jack's shoulder.

"My Sweet Daniel." Jack rested a hand on the back of his head.

"Colonel Jack." Daniel mumbled, holding him tightly.

The rest of their morning was the gentle, tender affection Jack had been expecting the night before. No biting. No grabbing. No wrestling for control. Just a piss poor attempt at healing an emotional wound with a whole lot of physical affection. This time when Jack came it was looking into the face he loved, watching as Daniel moaned his name to the ceiling.

XxXxXxXxXxX

Jack was having a very hard time believing it had been over a year since he'd taken the job at HWS. Where the position itself was concerned he had settled in long ago. However, it seemed like something closer to a decade since he'd left Colorado. He had gotten used to coming home to a house completely void of Daniel. After a year he still didn't like it any better, but he'd gotten used to it; an annoyance that greeted him at the end of every day.

After the meltdown Daniel had had in Maine Jack made a few changes to their unfortunate situation, hoping to make things a bit more tolerable. He hadn't been lying when he'd said it wasn't worth it. If Daniel was that miserable then the deal was off. He could resent him for the rest of his life for resigning. Jack didn't care. If they couldn't fix it then he was done trying and would do what he should have done in the beginning: chucked the job and kept Daniel.

The plan he had hatched was to set a time limit on their separation. Six months. If they could stand living apart for another six months he would stay in command at HWS. When six months expired he could either retire or, if they still agreed it was important enough, opt for another six months. That would at least put a finish line on the whole ordeal rather than having it stretch out endlessly into the murky future.

In the meantime Jack had taken to sending Daniel little gifts. Nothing big, just little things to let him know he was missed. To that end he had started scouring eBay at regular intervals looking for trinkets. It was a great way to pass the time on the long, lonely weekends. When nothing caught his eye he would just send a package of Daniel's favorite coffee. That was always a big hit.

One clause in the agreement that Jack had neglected to mention was that he would be checking in with Daniel face to face every three or four months and see with his own eyes how well he was coping. If anything other than a genuinely happy face greeted him at the door he was going to tender his resignation the minute he set foot back in the office and call the little exercise in soul crushing depression over. If it was up to Daniel he would keep torturing himself, doing his best to adjust to being completely miserable for years. Jack had seen him do it before. The man had a very high tolerance for emotional torment. Jack, on the other hand, did not. The guilt over the whole mess when Daniel was relatively happy was bad enough. When he was miserable it was pretty close to more than he could stand.

To Jack's considerable relief it was a pleasantly happy face that came striding through the door to his cabin. Bag immediately dropped on the floor Daniel was in his arms in a heartbeat. Several things had changed in the past four months aside from their new agreement to take things one hurdle at a time, and it looked like the cumulative effect was positive. At least for now.

Daniel's support system had reversed direction and floated quite unexpectedly back to the SGC, thanks in no small part to continued wheedling by Cameron Mitchell, or so Jack had heard. Sam was back. Teal'c was back, and Daniel was no longer on his own. He didn't know if it was that Daniel didn't feel like he'd been abandoned any more or their new six month time limit or a combination of the two, but whatever it was, the mood of the man in his arms was the polar opposite of the cyclone that had blown into the room in Maine a little over four months ago.

He looked honestly happy. Or at least as happy as a person could possibly expect to be when they were trapped in a long distance relationship and worked in a job that continually put their life in danger.

"You look good." Jack beamed at him.

"So do you." Daniel replied, before capturing his mouth in a kiss that nearly sucked the air right out of his lungs. "Taste good, too."

"Had a beer." Jack shrugged with a grin. "Want one?"

"No, I'm good. So…plans?" Daniel asked, walking back to close the front door.

"None whatsoever. We've got fishing poles. We've got food. Regrettably my cell phone gets no reception out here so we won't have interruptions."

"Yes it does." Daniel turned and scowled at him.

"That's hardly common knowledge. In fact, I went to great lengths to publish just the opposite all over the office before I left." Jack smirked.

"Ah."

"And for the record, if that thing goes off," he nodded toward the pocket in Daniel's jacket where he typically kept his cell "it's going in the lake. I don't care if they've found a new clone of Ba'al and the planet is 30 seconds from being a molten ball of lava. No phones. No jobs. Just us."

Daniel smiled, ducking his chin to his chest in a bashful expression that only Jack seemed to be able to inspire. One he found incredibly inspirational in that particular moment.

"In fact, why don't we just get rid of the jacket altogether." He said, slowly crossing the room.

Daniel nodded and immediately shrugged it off.

"Shirt's gonna have to go, too." Jack informed him.

"Right." Daniel replied, the smile on his face gradually being eclipsed by a hungry stare.

"Shoes." Jack added, finally having closed the distance between them.

Keeping his mouth busy enough to forestall any further conversation, a hand on the back of his head, Jack slowly walked him backwards to the bedroom.

This was the Daniel he'd been longing to see. One a whole lot less than fragile; slightly bothered here and there, but at least coping. This was the only version of Daniel he was willing to keep the job for.

He'd never been the altruistic type. Ok, maybe once in a while, here and there, but he wasn't willing to take credit for those moments most of the time because as far as he was concerned it was a reflex Daniel had gone to a lot of trouble to build in him. He'd never seen himself as a hero. Just a damn good soldier. He did the job and he did it well even when it was the last thing he really wanted to do.

He had taken the HWS gig because he'd been almost overwhelmed by the honor of having the President of the United States specifically requesting his butt be put in that chair, thanks in no small part to Hammond. The fact that it kept the NID and the IOC from putting some brainless simp with a god complex in place had only added fuel to the fire. The whole saving the planet and protecting the people of Earth bit was all Daniel. He had demanded that it was important so Jack had played along, piling the concept on top of his other reasons and gone trotting off to D.C. However, there was only so much he was willing to sacrifice for the sake of his pride, a fancy new title, and loathing for certain National and International groups of idiots. If Daniel was happy he'd stay. If he wasn't then the planet was going to have to fend for itself because he was done.

Rolling around on the bed with the only person he was willing to end his career for Jack was fairly certain they were in for another six month extension. He considered it briefly before Daniel's incredibly focused attention swept every thought from his head.


End file.
